Do you find yourself in the same types of situations or relationships again and again, or are you finding yourself repeating old patterns and ending up in the same situation but with someone new?

Perhaps you are currently in a relationship and are wondering why you keep ending up in the same place and going round in circles. It doesnt matter whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, colleague or even with clients we can often find ourselves repeating the storyline of past situations over and over again, like a fairground ride we cant get off, even when it makes us feel sick.

Here are three ways in which you can re-evaluate what’s happening and become more consiously aware of what’s really going on and how you can start to change it

1.   Be honest with yourself

Only you can decide what you want to change and the only person that you can change is yourself. It has been said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over again and expecting different results!

Often we know what we don’t want more than what we do want and this can also make you feel like a victim when that is what you think you get. Get really clear on what you do want. Trust your intuition and make choices based on what you know deep down inside will make you feel good about yourself. Being honest with yourself will help you to reset those boundaries and make the changes that you want.

2.  Take Responsibility

It can be all too easy to allow yourself to feel like a victim of circumstance or other people, but when you do this you are effectively giving up your power and individuality to someone or something else. In some circumstances you may find that there are hidden benefits to playing the role of victim, but essentially; you are not a victim – you play a part in all relationships.

Accepting your part in the relationship, is a huge step towards releasing your own power and individuality and when you take a look at how you are feeling and what your behaviour has been; it will help you to see things from a perspective that will enable you to make changes for the better. Decide what is acceptable and set clear boundaries for yourself as well as others and when necessary discuss these honestly.

3.  Change the way you treat yourself.

If you don’t treat yourself well, how can you expect others to do so! Invest time and energy into yourself and take a long hard look at the things that you say to yourself. If you don’t feel that you are worthy then you will put up with bad behaviour from other people, and again it is about taking responsibility for what you are projecting. So start with you, show some appreciation– until you know what you are worth – you can’t expect others to. Never look for someone else to complete you – complete yourself.

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